Oh look, a dude still living

Well I am alive and well so I shall ever post....and post again.

A poem...

I shall write of love, love for life and all that is within it
A love for this life, my life, the story I write and how I spin it
To each his own, to each full grown adult whos seeds are sown
This is the truth I speak, Complete, unaltered and full blown
This is the legacy I shall leave, the words I concieve, and share
The words that are pulled and ripped, the words you tear
Tear from my soul just so that you can have them as your own
When in truth and infact, you yourself are no more than a clone
A copy of life, living within your finely drawn limitations
Never chasing a dream, never having any expectations
Oh what a dreary and dark place your mind must be
Oh what a cold and unloving world oustide you must see
But alas, it is not mine to change, your mind that is
It is yours to use, yours to do anything the fact is
Satsfactory use to each his own, her own, whatever
Perspective is crucial to understand life a little better
I now know the neccessary things to survive in life
To survive in the world, filled with all this strife
I think I have babbled enough for this particular entry
So I'll end it now, in its beginnings, while still elementary
Good day sir, Good day I say, nay I yell, you now must go
Go to your respective place of residence, your house, your home

That is all.
D.W.Humphrey
Dive deep into the depths of my mind if you dare.....

Written by:Andrea on Hobbs One Year Anniversary

To my Fallen Brother
I'm not great at words, but I wanted to write a few on this the anniversary of our dear brothers passing into Glory. I miss you just as much as when I first heard you were gone if not more. What can I say about a man who loved me and all of us so much. He was a great humanbeing and his abscence is so painful. He continues on in his beautiful children and in his family and friends. He was a man full of passion and it was an honour to know him and be one of his sisters. I will always love him and miss him. Brother you were just plain beautiful. Drive on untill we meet again on the beautiful shore in Glory.

to whom it never concerns

hey there guy, thought id write you a line
just to get at you, make sure your doing fine
i myself am ok, just a little disturbed of late
to be expected i guess, things aren't always great
but for the most part, life is fair, can't say good, see
not bad, but i guess as good as things should be
my ma just died, ya she did, seemed like overnight
there she was, so strong, and then her soul took flight
but all is well, as well as can be expected i guess
under pressure, can't neccesarily say under stress
life just changed, not a little either, my foundation shook
didnt crumble though, although all my strength it took
just to wake up this morning, to look at people and life
to wonder why these 80 yr old ladies are walking around
and not my momma, it seems to me so very profound
but hey, in the end my questions shall all be answered
in the end, ill know why God allowed there to be cancer
in the end, hell i guess i will know all there is to know
so i guess, pointless is the pursuit, but i'll still give it a go
im not one to give in, give up and all that jazz they say
so ill keep truckin, ill see them all agin some day
i can still see her smile, slightly cockeyed in jest
she'd get so embarrassed as her patience id test
so, my friend, i hope all is well and good with you and yours
ill end this now, knowing in heaven , without cancer, momma soars
smiling down on me, saying as she often did in fun
awnry as you are kid, i still do love you my son
so, goodbye for now my long lost friend, my confidant(spelling)
write back soon, if you choose, its really ok if not

Lesson's learned in life

I truly believe that every person we meet teaches us something. Sometimes we can be open to such knowledge while most of the time we are so involved with our own existence we do not see a thing. Brian's death was so profound to me it shook me to the core. I had a very thin line I walked, one of sheer destruction or one of total transformation. I chose to learn from his death and become a stronger person and live the life that is given to me. I had unbelievable fears and worries prior to his death, to the point it had inhibited my enjoyment of life. When Brian died I realized I had no control over life and to worry only makes us ill. I released myself of that prison I call worry and opened my heart and mind to just letting life be. Brian, my sweet Brian, taught me to love life and live it to the fullest. He taught me what was truly important and what is worth fighting for. My Momma taught me (and gave me) strength. She was strong of heart, mind and will all the way until her last breath was drawn. Life is full of sorrow and hard ships, it is absolutely unavoidable. So when you find yourself on one, just tell yourself that it won't last forever, there is something to learn from this and God will NEVER forsake you. I am about to embark upon another hard ship, my baby brother will be deploying off to Iraq this January. I will pray to God and just let life be, whether he returns or not will be up to the Lord. Matty, my little brother, God speed and we will be here thinking about you and missing you terribly while you are gone. Do what you need to in order to survive and worry not about us, we will be strong for you. LOVE YOU BUNCHES BABY BRO!

Momma 

Birthday

Well it seems odd....You never really understand things untill its too late. Or infact is it just when God intends you to understand them? I am refering to the whole birthday hype thing. For me a birthday of someone elses, especially someone I love, means that it is a reason, better yet an excuse for me to spend time, effort and money on that person. I know the money thing isnt always there for me, and infact often times I am so caught up in my own life that I neglect those I love on their special day. I dont even remember if I told Hobbs happy birthday last year, or the years prior. but this year, his birthday seems to be the only thing on my mind. I wish I could hassle him about being beyond the dreaded 30, and tell him that he has been old ever since I met him. I wish I could try and see if I could get a rise out of him and tease him untill he got angry at me. That would have been my plans I am sure. That is the relationship we shared. Always giving eachother crap. I miss a lot of things about him. My stomach feels ill just thinking about it. The whole "birthday" thing infact is just a count down to the day we meet up with our true Father. I guess his count down is done, and now he truly was born. On Oct. 14th 2004, our brother,son,father,husband,cousin,nephew,uncle,grandson, friend and so on was born into heaven to start his eternal life with the father. Reality is, although harsh, that we no longer get to have him here on earth with us in a physical body. A body that feels fatigue, pain and aching. Infact we grieve for our loss, not his loss. Because infact, his was a gain, not a loss. But that is ok, it is the way God designed us to work. It is ok to grieve for ourselves. So family and friends alike, mourn with me today and celebrate at the same time the life and loss of Hobbs and his beginning in life with God. So I say, rejoice and be sad, have a good bad day as I learned from Darcie at the Tapps seminar. And if anyone wants to or needs to, call me and we shall do it together.
Dallas W. Humphrey

Brian's Birthday

Brian would have been 32 this coming Tuesday and I can't help but feel so empty and sad. This will be the second Birthday in a row that we are not celebrating with him. Last year he was in Afghanistan and this year he is dead. The kids and I plan to go to his grave and write on balloons, love letters to him. His death is pounding in my mind and the reality of his absence is overwhelming to me. His perfectly handsome face is imprinted on my soul. I love you Brian and I miss you. I wish you were here so I could give you a present and more importantly my love. I will never stop thinking of you, never stop missing you and never stop loving you my dear. Ich liebe dich meine liebe... forever!

A loving mothers tribute to her fallen hero, her son......
Kyles' hawaiin name is KA'EO

TO MY SON KA'EO,LOVE MOM

HOW I LONG TO HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS, OH SO VERY TIGHT,
TO KISS YOUR FACE AND SMILE AND SAY,"EVERYTHINGS ALRIGHT."
TO HEAR YOU LAUGH AGAIN, AS YOU DID BEFORE
I WOULD GIVE UP EVERYTHING TO HEAR YOUR VOICE ONCE MORE.
I STILL CAN HEAR YOU SAY TO ME,"MOM,I LOVE YOU TOO,"
"I'M DOING FINE, ITS MY JOB,ITS SOMETHING I HAVE TO DO."
MOM,DON'T WORRY,MOM,PLEASE DON'T CRY."
AS I REMEMBER YOUR WORDS I ASK GOD WHY?
I SEE YOUR FACE IN YOUR CHILDRENS EYES EACH AND EVERYDAY,
I HEAR YOUR VOICE IN THEIR LAUGHTER AS I WATCH THEM PLAY.
I MISS YOU MY KA'EO,AND TO GOD I WILL ALWAYS PRAY,
THAT WE WILL BE UNITED IN A PERFECT WORLD ONEDAY!

YOU ARE FOREVER IN MY HEART,LOVE MOM

F* it all

Sometimes I get down and low and feel like shit
This is one of those times, so I'll share it
How nice of me, to share such things with all of you
How nice I am to feel the love enough to put you through
the same torment I am feeling, to drag you with me
You must know now I love you, Cant you see?
Why dont you listen when I speak, am I not speaking?
Why does it hurt when I remember, now I'm weeping
Thoughts come and go fleeting, absolutely completely depleeting
All energy, I'm drained and now am currently seeking
Something to remedy this predicament of mine
To once again cause the sun in my life to shine
Tell me dear friend, do you know the solution
Dont keep it from me, filling my mind with pollution
For this act alone, there is not any retrobution
So beware and careful of this fatal contusion
So now are you warned and I have done it again
I ran out of meds, out on God and am living in sin
But alas, I will return, and in the nick of time
Is always the case, at least in life I do find

My Grandfather Skaggs. RIP, We will miss all of our loved ones who have gone to be with Jesus. 

Left to Right, I believe:
Andee,Blake,Larry & Linda,Jakey, Hobbs & Jen, Bree and finally My ma.

Thanksgiving at the Humphrey House. The whole family and some friends too. 

Lil Jakey and his daddy. Notice Hobbs fresh Tattoo, Celtic Weave. Awesome. 

Baby Bree blowing bubbles. The photographer is brilliant!!! Ok it was me.